Feeling Nervous About Your First Counselling Session?

Booking your first counselling session can feel like a significant step.

You may have spent weeks or months wondering whether counselling is really necessary. You may have told yourself that you should be able to manage the problem alone.

You may also worry about what your family, friends, colleagues or schoolmates might think if they knew you were seeking professional support.

As the appointment approaches, you may wonder:

• What should I say?
• Where should I begin?
• Will the counsellor judge me?
• Do I need to tell them everything?
• What if I cry?
• Will the counsellor give me good advice?
• Will I receive a diagnosis?
• What if the session feels like ordinary chit-chat?
• What happens after the first appointment?

These concerns are understandable.

You do not need to arrive with a perfectly organised account of your life. You do not need to know the psychological term for what you are experiencing. You also do not need to explain your entire history during the first appointment.

Your first session gives the counsellor an opportunity to understand you, the concerns you are facing, and the kind of support that may be suitable.

It also allows you to experience the counsellor’s working style and consider whether you feel comfortable continuing.

Most importantly, your first session is a beginning.

Taking the first step matters. However, meaningful change usually involves taking further steps too.

Before Your First Counselling Session

Step 1: Choose Your Clinician and Make an Appointment

At The Lion Mind, you can choose your preferred clinician when making an appointment.

Feeling comfortable with the person you are speaking to is important. Before booking, you may wish to review the clinician’s:

• qualifications
• professional experience
• areas of work
• counselling or coaching approach
• types of support provided

During the online booking process, you will select your clinician, service, appointment date, time, and whether the session is physical or online.

The fee is stated during booking. Payment must be completed through the online booking page before the appointment is confirmed. Payments are processed securely through Stripe.

Before making payment, check:

• that you have selected the correct clinician
• whether the session is physical or online
• the appointment date and time
• the session fee
• the session duration
• the cancellation and rescheduling policy

All appointments with The Lion Mind must be arranged in advance. Walk-ins are not accepted.

Step 2: Complete the Registration and Consent Process

As the session fee has already been stated and paid online, you will not need to arrange payment when you arrive.

First-time clients should arrive early to complete the registration process and read and sign the informed consent form.

The informed consent form explains matters such as:

• the nature of counselling or coaching
• confidentiality
• the limits of confidentiality
• how client information is recorded
• communication outside sessions
• cancellation and rescheduling
• safety and emergency procedures
• the responsibilities of the client and clinician

This process may feel formal, but it helps ensure that you understand how the service works and what you can reasonably expect.

Read the form carefully and ask the clinician or staff if anything is unclear.

At The Lion Mind, the first appointment is generally an intake session. The clinician will seek to understand more about you, the concerns you are facing, and the kind of support you may need.

Step 3: Think About What Brought You to Counselling

You do not need to prepare a speech.

However, it may help to think about a few simple questions before your appointment:

• What made me seek counselling now?
• What has been most difficult recently?
• How is this affecting my work, studies, relationships, sleep or daily life?
• How long has this been happening?
• What have I already tried?
• What would I like to be different?
• Is there anything urgent that the counsellor should know?

You may write down a few points on your phone or in a notebook if that helps you feel more organised.

It is also perfectly acceptable to begin the session by saying:

“I do not know where to start.”

Your counsellor can help you begin from there.

During Your First Counselling Session

Step 4: Your Counsellor Will Help You Settle In

The first few minutes may feel awkward.

You are meeting someone new and may be preparing to speak about matters that are private, painful, confusing or difficult to explain.

Your counsellor may begin by introducing themselves and briefly explaining:

• how the session will proceed
• how long the session will last
• what their role is
• how confidentiality works
• how you can ask questions or provide feedback

You are not expected to trust your counsellor immediately.

Trust usually develops gradually through respectful, consistent and non-judgemental interactions.

Step 5: Confidentiality Will Be Explained

What you share during counselling is generally kept private and confidential.

Confidentiality is important because it creates a space where you can speak honestly without worrying that everything you say will automatically be shared with your family, employer or school.

However, confidentiality has limits.

Information may need to be disclosed when:

• disclosure is required by law
• there is a serious risk that you may harm yourself
• there is a serious risk that you may harm someone else
• there are safeguarding concerns involving abuse or a vulnerable person

The Singapore Association for Counselling requires counsellors to maintain the confidentiality of information obtained through counselling unless disclosure is required by law.

Your counsellor should explain the limits of confidentiality clearly before you begin discussing sensitive concerns.

Step 6: The Counsellor Will Ask What Brought You In

Your counsellor may begin with a simple question such as:

• “What brings you here today?”
• “What has been happening recently?”
• “What would you like support with?”
• “What made you decide to seek counselling now?”

You may have a clear concern, such as:

• anxiety
• burnout
• grief
• anger
• low mood
• family difficulties
• relationship stress
• career uncertainty
• examination pressure
• sleep difficulties
• intrusive thoughts
• difficulty adjusting to change

You may also have no clear label for what you are experiencing.

You might simply say:

• “I feel overwhelmed.”
• “I have not felt like myself.”
• “I am functioning, but I do not feel okay.”
• “I keep overthinking everything.”
• “I feel stuck.”
• “Something happened and I cannot move past it.”
• “I need someone outside my family to speak to.”

All of these are valid starting points.

The first session is mainly about understanding what has been happening and what you may need. However, meaningful counselling work can still begin during the first appointment.

You may experience some relief, understand your concern differently, express an emotion that you have been holding back, or identify one possible next step.

Step 7: You May Be Asked About Different Areas of Your Life

To understand your concern properly, the counsellor may ask about:

• your family
• relationships
• work or studies
• physical health
• sleep and appetite
• daily routines
• current stressors
• significant life events
• previous counselling experiences
• medication or medical care
• coping methods
• people who support you
• thoughts of self-harm or suicide

Some of these questions may feel personal.

They are not meant to interrogate you.

Different parts of life often affect one another. Work stress may affect sleep. Family conflict may affect concentration. Financial pressure may affect relationships. Past experiences may continue to influence how you respond to situations today.

The counsellor is trying to understand the wider picture rather than reduce you to one symptom or problem.

Step 8: The Counsellor May Ask About Safety

Your counsellor may ask whether you have experienced:

• thoughts of self-harm
• thoughts of suicide
• difficulty keeping yourself safe
• plans or intentions to harm yourself
• thoughts of harming another person
• abuse, violence or immediate danger

Being asked these questions does not mean that the counsellor assumes you are dangerous.

Safety screening is part of responsible mental health support.

Private counselling may support clients experiencing self-harm or suicidal thoughts through:

• risk screening
• safety planning
• emotional support
• counselling
• referral to other professionals or services

However, private counselling centres are not emergency response services.

The Lion Mind is an appointment-based, non-critical service and cannot attend to crisis situations immediately.

If you are in immediate danger or unable to remain safe, contact the appropriate emergency service or seek urgent help at a hospital. National mindline 1771 also provides round-the-clock mental health support in Singapore.

Step 9: You Can Decide How Much You Are Ready to Share

You are not required to reveal your entire history during the first session.

You may say:

• “I am not ready to talk about that yet.”
• “There is more, but I need time.”
• “I find this difficult to explain.”
• “Can we slow down?”
• “I would prefer to return to this later.”

A respectful counsellor should not force you to disclose more than you can manage.

At the same time, counselling becomes more useful when you can gradually communicate honestly about what you are experiencing.

You and your counsellor can work towards this at a pace that is manageable for you.

Step 10: The Clinician May Clarify What Kind of Support You Need

Not every client needs the same type of support.

During the first session, the clinician may consider whether you could benefit from life coaching, career counselling, supportive counselling, maintenance counselling, psychotherapy, or an integrated approach.

Life Coaching

Life coaching may be suitable when you are generally functioning well but want support with:

• personal development
• goal-setting
• motivation
• direction
• life transitions
• productivity
• accountability
• personal effectiveness

Life coaching is generally forward-looking and goal-focused.

It is not intended to diagnose or treat mental health conditions.

Career Counselling

Career counselling may help you explore:

• your interests
• personal values
• strengths and abilities
• educational options
• career concerns
• workplace challenges
• career transitions
• possible professional directions

It may be suitable for students, working adults considering a change, individuals returning to employment, or people who feel uncertain about their future direction.

Supportive Counselling

Supportive counselling provides psycho-emotional support during a difficult period.

It may help when you are coping with:

• grief
• stress
• family difficulties
• workplace pressure
• relationship concerns
• health concerns
• adjustment
• a major life transition

The immediate purpose may not be to make major changes or explore every past experience.

Sometimes, a person first needs a safe and compassionate space to process what is happening, strengthen coping, and feel less alone.

Maintenance Counselling

Maintenance counselling may take place after the more active phase of counselling or psychotherapy.

Sessions may become less frequent and focus on:

• maintaining progress
• recognising early warning signs
• strengthening coping methods
• reviewing new challenges
• preventing relapse
• continuing personal development

Depending on progress and circumstances, sessions may move from weekly appointments to fortnightly, monthly or less frequent check-ins.

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy may be appropriate when concerns are more complex, longstanding, recurring, or connected to deeper emotional and behavioural patterns.

Counselling and psychotherapy are not always completely separate processes. A trained clinician may integrate elements of both according to your needs and the concerns being addressed.

These forms of support are not rigid boxes. The direction may change as the clinician understands you more fully and as your needs develop.

The Lion Mind provides life coaching, counselling and psychotherapy within a broader psychological services framework.

Step 11: The Session May Feel Like a “Chit-Chat”

Some clients may leave their first session thinking:

“We were just talking. What did I actually pay for?”

A counselling session can sometimes feel like an ordinary conversation, especially during the first appointment.

However, professional counselling is not casual chit-chat.

The conversational style allows the counsellor to build trust, understand how you communicate, identify important concerns, notice recurring patterns, and create enough emotional safety for deeper work to take place.

While you are speaking, the counsellor may also be paying attention to:

• changes in your emotions
• themes that appear repeatedly
• how you describe yourself and other people
• how you respond to difficult situations
• coping methods that are helping
• coping methods that may no longer be helpful
• possible risks or safety concerns
• strengths and resources that you may not recognise

A professional counselling conversation is guided by training, psychological knowledge, ethical responsibilities and an understanding of the helping process.

Not every useful moment will feel dramatic.

Sometimes progress begins with:

• a small realisation
• a different way of understanding an experience
• feeling heard without judgement
• recognising a recurring pattern
• putting an emotion into words
• deciding on one manageable next step

A counselling session can feel natural and human while still being purposeful.

Let your counsellor know if you remain uncertain about the direction or purpose of the sessions. The Lion Mind encourages clients to raise concerns when they feel that progress has stalled or the focus is unclear.

Step 12: Will the Counsellor Give Me Good Advice?

You may wonder:

“Why am I paying so much if the counsellor refuses to give me good advice?”

Counselling is not about withholding help.

However, counsellors are careful about telling clients exactly what they should do.

Advice is often influenced by the adviser’s own experiences, beliefs, preferences and assumptions. What worked for another person may not suit your circumstances, family, responsibilities, relationships or values.

Instead, the counsellor may:

• help you understand the situation more clearly
• identify choices you may not have considered
• explore the possible consequences of different options
• provide psychological education
• suggest coping methods
• offer a professional observation
• recommend a practical step
• help you prepare for a difficult conversation
• refer you to another professional or service

Counsellors can make suggestions.

For example, the counsellor may say:

“One option you could consider is…”

or:

“Would you be open to trying this?”

A suggestion gives you room to consider whether it fits your situation. It does not place the counsellor’s personal opinion above your own lived experience.

This does not mean that the counsellor should remain vague or refuse to help.

The counsellor can provide guidance, professional observations, psychological education and suitable suggestions. However, they cannot guarantee that a particular decision will solve the problem.

Counsellors provide psycho-emotional support. They can help you think through a problem, but they are not there to take over your decisions or solve every practical difficulty on your behalf.

The aim is to help you develop greater clarity, confidence and ability to manage future situations, rather than becoming dependent on someone else to tell you what to do.

Step 13: You May Discuss Your Goals and Preferred Approach

Your counsellor may ask what you hope to gain from counselling.

Your answer does not need to sound clinical.

You may say:

• “I want to feel more in control.”
• “I want to understand why I react this way.”
• “I need help processing what happened.”
• “I want to stop feeling so overwhelmed.”
• “I want to manage my anxiety better.”
• “I need clarity before making a decision.”
• “I want a safe place to talk.”
• “I want to prevent the problem from becoming worse.”

The clinician may also explain the counselling or psychotherapy approaches that may be suitable.

These may include:

• Cognitive Behaviour Therapy
• person-centred counselling
• Solution-Focused Brief Therapy
• Motivational Interviewing
• narrative approaches
• experiential approaches
• OH Cards
• sound-based therapeutic support
• an integrative approach

Different clinicians have different areas of training. Not every clinician uses every approach.

The approach should depend on your needs, comfort, goals, suitability, and the clinician’s professional training.

You may ask questions, provide feedback, and decline an activity or intervention that you are not comfortable with.

Step 14: Why Am I Given Something to Do Between Sessions?

You may wonder:

“Why am I being asked to do more work? I paid for counselling because I want my problem solved.”

Counselling is not a service where the clinician fixes your life on your behalf.

Your session gives you professional support, psychological understanding, reflection, guidance and a structured space to work through what is happening.

However, many difficulties happen in everyday life, outside the counselling room.

Meaningful change may therefore require some follow-through between sessions.

Depending on your needs and the clinician’s approach, you may be invited to:

• notice a recurring thought, emotion or behaviour
• practise a coping method
• reflect on something discussed during the session
• record an important situation
• try one manageable change
• have a planned conversation
• observe what happens when you respond differently

Not every client will be given something to do after every session.

Any between-session activity should have a clear purpose. It should also be relevant, realistic and manageable.

For example, talking about boundaries may help you understand why setting them feels difficult. However, change may eventually involve practising one small boundary in everyday life.

Your clinician can help you prepare, consider possible difficulties, and review what happened afterwards. They cannot take the step on your behalf.

Some clinicians may describe this as reflection, practice, observation, or an agreed next step. Clinicians using Cognitive Behaviour Therapy may call it an Action Plan.

The purpose is not to give you schoolwork or test whether you are a “good client”.

It is to help you apply what you explored during counselling to real situations outside the session.

Tell your clinician if the activity feels unclear, too difficult, irrelevant or unsuitable. It can be adjusted together.

Paying for counselling gives you access to professional support and a guided therapeutic process. Your own participation remains an important part of that process.

Towards the End of the First Session

Step 15: The Counsellor May Summarise Their Understanding

Towards the end of the session, the counsellor may summarise what they have heard.

For example:

“It sounds like you have been under increasing pressure at work. You have tried to cope by pushing yourself harder, but you are now sleeping poorly, withdrawing from others, and becoming more irritable.”

This gives you an opportunity to respond.

You may say:

• “Yes, that sounds right.”
• “That is partly right, but there is another issue.”
• “I do not think that is the main concern.”
• “I need more time to think about it.”

The counsellor should not decide your story for you.

Your response helps both of you develop a more accurate understanding of what is happening.

Step 16: You May Discuss What Happens Next

The counsellor may recommend:

• another counselling session
• further intake or counselling assessment
• supportive counselling
• career counselling
• life coaching
• psychotherapy
• a screening questionnaire
• a reflection or practice between sessions
• referral for formal psychological assessment
• referral for psychiatric or medical support
• referral to another service

You do not have to decide your entire counselling journey during the first appointment.

However, meaningful progress commonly requires continuity, participation and follow-through over a number of sessions.

The Lion Mind generally begins with weekly sessions, with the frequency adjusted according to progress, need, finances and scheduling. There is no fixed number of sessions that applies to every client.

The first session is an important step.

Taking the next step is important too.

After Your First Counselling Session

You May Feel Relieved

You may feel lighter because:

• you finally said something aloud
• someone listened without judging you
• your experience began to make sense
• you no longer feel completely alone
• you have taken an important first step

This does not mean that everything has been resolved.

It means that the process has begun.

You May Feel Tired or Emotional

Some clients feel emotionally tired after counselling.

You may notice:

• sadness
• irritability
• emotional sensitivity
• continued thoughts about the conversation
• a need for quiet
• mental tiredness
• relief mixed with uncertainty

Exploring uncomfortable thoughts and feelings can require emotional energy.

After the session, you may find it helpful to:

• give yourself time to settle
• drink some water
• have a meal
• take a quiet walk
• avoid arranging something highly demanding immediately afterwards
• write down anything you wish to revisit
• rest if you feel tired

The Lion Mind advises clients to note difficult reactions after a session and discuss them with their clinician at the next appointment.

Provide Feedback While It Is Still Timely

Your counsellor needs to know how the session felt for you.

Tell them what went well and what did not go well.

Providing feedback early gives the counsellor an opportunity to understand your needs and adjust the way they support you.

You might say:

• “That question helped me understand something.”
• “I felt rushed when we moved to that topic.”
• “The session felt too unstructured.”
• “I would prefer more practical suggestions.”
• “I need more time before discussing that experience.”
• “I did not understand the purpose of the activity.”
• “I felt that you understood me.”
• “I am not sure this approach suits me.”

Do not wait until several sessions have passed if something is troubling you.

Where appropriate, the counselling approach may be adjusted. If the therapeutic fit remains unsuitable, you may also request to work with another clinician.

At the same time, remember that counsellors provide psycho-emotional support, therapeutic guidance, psychological education, reflection and a structured space for personal work.

They are not there to take over your decisions, remove every difficulty from your life, or provide an instant solution to a complicated situation.

Will You Receive a Diagnosis?

A counselling intake session is not automatically a diagnostic assessment.

Counsellors and coaches at The Lion Mind do not provide formal mental health diagnoses.

They may instead conduct counselling assessments or use informal, non-diagnostic tools to:

• understand your needs
• identify areas of concern
• consider the severity of your distress
• formulate the counselling case
• plan suitable support
• monitor progress
• decide whether referral may be needed

The Lion Mind may use screening questionnaires and self-reflective exercises. In counselling, these tools can help identify concerns and gauge severity. In coaching, they can support clarity and goal-setting. They are not formal diagnostic assessments.

What Assessments May a Counsellor Use?

Depending on their training and the purpose of counselling, a counsellor may use:

• a structured intake interview
• mental health screening questionnaires
• risk and safety screening
• wellbeing measures
• symptom severity screeners
• progress or outcome measures
• career interest inventories
• values assessments
• structured reflections
• clinical observations
• goal and coping assessments

These tools can help the counsellor understand the frequency, severity and effect of a concern.

A screening result is not the same as a diagnosis.

What Assessments May a Life Coach Use?

A suitably trained life coach may use non-diagnostic tools relating to:

• personal values
• strengths
• goals
• motivation
• readiness for change
• life satisfaction
• career direction
• work preferences
• wellbeing
• accountability and progress

These tools are used to clarify direction and support personal development. They should not be presented as mental health diagnoses.

Who Can Provide a Formal Diagnosis?

Formal diagnosis is a separate service that should be carried out by an appropriately qualified professional with the necessary postgraduate training, assessment competence, supervised experience, and professional scope.

Depending on the condition and assessment required, this may include a suitably qualified psychologist or psychiatrist.

Not every psychologist provides every type of assessment. The practitioner must be trained and competent to carry out the specific assessment being offered. Clinical psychologists, for example, are trained to assess and address a range of mental health concerns.

Psychiatrists are medical doctors and can also prescribe medication where appropriate.

A diagnosis may help clarify a condition and guide treatment planning.

However, receiving a diagnosis does not mean that a person is automatically cured.

Recovery may still involve:

• counselling or psychotherapy
• medical care
• medication where appropriate
• changes in behaviour or daily routines
• family or social support
• changes in the person’s environment
• active participation
• time

A diagnosis may provide a name and a clearer direction. It does not complete the recovery process by itself.

Your First Counselling Session at The Lion Mind

At The Lion Mind, clients choose their clinician and book and pay for their session through the online appointment system.

First-time clients should arrive early to complete registration and informed consent.

The first appointment is generally an intake session.

The clinician will seek to understand:

• what brought you to counselling
• the concerns you are facing
• how these concerns affect your daily life
• your needs and goals
• what kind of support may be appropriate
• whether counselling assessment or referral may be needed

Depending on your needs, the clinician may recommend:

• life coaching
• career counselling
• supportive counselling
• maintenance counselling
• counselling
• psychotherapy
• an integrated approach
• referral to another professional or service

You do not need to know exactly what to say before attending.

You only need to be willing to begin, communicate honestly, and consider the next step when you are ready.

All appointments must be booked in advance. Walk-ins are not accepted.

Frequently Asked Questions About the First Counselling Session

Do I need to prepare anything?

You do not need to prepare formally.

It may help to think about what made you seek counselling, what has been most difficult, and what you hope may change.

You may write down a few points if you are worried that you will forget them.

What if I do not know what to say?

You can tell the counsellor that you do not know where to begin.

The counsellor can ask simple questions to help you organise your thoughts and start the conversation.

What if I cry?

Crying is a normal human response.

You do not need to apologise or feel embarrassed. The counsellor can give you time to pause, breathe, and continue when you are ready.

What if I do not cry?

That is also completely fine.

Not crying does not mean that your concern is unimportant. People express and process emotions differently.

What if the session feels like chit-chat?

A conversational style can help build trust and allow the counsellor to understand you naturally.

The counsellor may still be identifying patterns, assessing risks, understanding your coping methods, and considering how best to support you.

Ask about the direction of the sessions if the purpose feels unclear.

Why am I paying so much if the counsellor will not give me good advice?

Counsellors can offer professional observations, guidance and suggestions.

However, they avoid making major life decisions on your behalf. Their role is to help you understand the situation, consider your choices and make an informed decision that fits your circumstances and values.

Why am I given something to do between sessions?

Difficulties usually occur in everyday life, not only inside the counselling room.

Reflection, observation, coping practice or one manageable next step can help you apply what you discussed during counselling.

The activity should be discussed with you and adjusted if it feels unclear, irrelevant or too difficult.

Will I receive a diagnosis?

Counsellors and coaches at The Lion Mind do not provide formal mental health diagnoses.

They may use counselling assessments, screening questionnaires and reflective tools to understand your needs and plan appropriate support.

Does one session make a difference?

The first session may provide relief, clarity and a starting point.

However, further sessions, active participation, feedback, and follow-through are often needed for longer-term progress.

What if I feel worse after the session?

You may feel emotionally tired after discussing difficult experiences.

Take note of how you feel and discuss it with your counsellor. Seek more immediate support if your distress becomes severe or you are unable to remain safe.

What if the counsellor does not feel like the right fit?

Provide timely feedback about what is and is not working.

The counsellor may be able to adjust the approach. You may also request another clinician if the fit remains unsuitable.

Does The Lion Mind accept walk-ins?

No.

All sessions must be selected, booked and paid for through the online appointment system before attendance.

References

• Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy. The New “Homework” in Cognitive Behavior Therapy.
• Ministry of Health Singapore. Mental Health Services for the Public.
• Ministry of Health Singapore. National Mindline 1771 to Provide Round-the-Clock Support for Mental Health.
• Singapore Association for Counselling. Code of Ethics.
• Singapore Psychological Society. Who Are Psychologists?

Disclaimer

This article is for general educational purposes only. It does not replace personalised counselling, formal psychological assessment, psychiatric care, medical advice, or emergency assistance.

If you are in immediate danger or unable to keep yourself or another person safe, contact emergency services or seek urgent assistance through an appropriate crisis or hospital service.

Counselling in Singapore: Costs, Types of Therapy & How to Choose Support A Singapore Guide to CBT, Counselling, and Psychotherapy Support

 

How Much Does Counselling Cost in Singapore? A Practical Guide to Fees, Session Length, and Value

---

If you like what you read, follow us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, or Tik Tok to get the latest updates.

---

Have a question? Reach out to us through our contact form or WhatsApp.

---

Want to speak to our clinicians? Book your appointment here!